One Bizarre Proposal 

Apparently, when he’s not pretending to be hiding on the Appalachian Trail, former South Carolina governor Mark Sanford can sometimes be found hiding in the bathroom. While he does so, he occasionally has another man propose to his mistress-turned-girlfriend Maria Belén Chapur for him:

[Sanford] arrived early and staged a scene from a novel: he gave a bag with the ring to one of the waiters, asked him to come up with a good story for his girlfriend and hid in the disabled restroom to wait for over an hour.

When Chapur arrived, the waiter met her and announced that she had won “a prize” for being the 100th client of the day. She opened the bag and found the ring. She was confused. Sanford appeared and made his declaration of love.

To reiterate, Sanford:

  • Had the waiter concoct the story, instead of creating it himself

  • Provided an engagement ring in a bag

  • And oh yeah, occupied the handicapped restroom for more than an hour

That sounds like a really crappy novel.