Also, Who Called in the Report? 

Police in Uxbridge, MA are fed up with trespassers on local railroad tracks. Vandals have painted graffiti and left trash on the tracks, but it’s a recent incident that’s really set officials on edge.

P & W Railroad employees called the Uxbridge Police Department about 10 p.m. Monday to report that four individuals on the railroad bridge on Route 122 had dropped their drawers and defecated on the train as it passed below.

This is certainly both disgusting and illegal. But my god, it’s also damned impressive! The timing, the choreography, the aim! To have four miscreants pull that off, well, that’s amazing. Heck, how can you even be mad?