The buyer of a $12 million mansion in Malibu, California, is currently seeking recompense for missing square footage. After purchasing his home, Hiroshi Horiike learned that his supposed 15,000 square foot estate actually measures in at fewer than 10,000 square feet. The agents are almost certainly scummy liars, to be sure, but it’s awfully hard to feel sympathy here. And so I’m playing what I’ll claim is the world’s smallest violin for him, but actually it’s just a really tiny violin. Don’t worry, he won’t have it measured.