You might currently have some soy, almond, or coconut milk in your fridge, but if the dairy industry and the FDA get their way, that may not be the case in the future. The beverages will still exist, but they may have to use a different name than “milk”.

“If you look at our standard of identity—there is a reference somewhere in the standard of identity to a lactating animal,” [FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb] said. “And, you know, an almond doesn’t lactate, I will confess.”

I always wondered where the nipples were on an almond. Now I finally know the truth.