I’m on the mailing list for a few Boston-area entertainment venues, which sometimes provides early access to shows and concerts. Last fall, I used this perk to purchase tickets for a show by comedian Brian Regan. While I’ve seen his stand-up specials on TV, I should note that I’ve never actually seen him live at a ticketed event.

And yet, on September 20th, the very day after I purchased tickets to see Brian Regan, I received this email:

In my best Brian Regan “Dumb Guy” voice

“HEY! HEY, YOU! We’ve got Brian Regan tickets on sale tomorrow! Open this email to learn more!”

“Hey, there’s a show we think you might be interested in! Perhaps you’ve heard of…Brian Regan?”

“We actually know you’ve heard of him, because yesterday, you bought tickets to see him. And when you did, we added you to our Brian Regan mailing list!

Hey, look at that! You actually bought tickets to see this very show!”

“Well anyway, we just wanted to let you know that tickets for this show go on sale tomorrow! So if you want to buy tickets to that show you already bought tickets for, they go on sale in the morning.”

“We figured you wouldn’t want to miss it, since you’re such a big fan of Brian Regan!”

Get your shit together, Ticketmaster.

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