Though the St. Louis Cardinals were just knocked out of the MLB playoffs last night, their home city is still tops in some ways:

• St. Louis holds top spot in chlamydia and gonorrhea, STDs reach all-time high across U.S.

The article itself is a bit less celebratory than the headline, referring to this as a “dubious distinction”:

St. Louis has retained the dubious distinction of leading the nation in sexually transmitted diseases, ranking first in 2018 among counties and independent cities for the rate of gonorrhea and — after dropping to third place a year ago — regaining the top spot for chlamydia. The city was fourth for its syphilis rate.

Still, it seems strange to refer to this as the “top spot”, and “regaining” it.

Also, St. Louis, you’re kind of gross. Glove up before you love up, people!