Recently, a federal court ruled to allow T-Mobile and Sprint to merge, reducing the number of national wireless carriers in America from four to three. It’s unlikely this will be beneficial to customers, but this is now the law of the land. The Verge’s Nilay Patel has done a hilarious job tearing down the judicial reasoning, such as it is, in this case.

And… it turns out that Judge Marrero thinks CEO John Legere and the rest of T-Mobile’s executives are extremely cool and smart and that Dish Network is definitely trustworthy and that everything is going to work out great.

Also, the judge thinks that Sprint sucks. Really, if there’s one major takeaway here, it’s that Victor Marrero, a federal judge selected by Bill Clinton for a lifetime appointment on the federal judiciary, thinks that Sprint is a bad company with a crap network run by dummies. This is the law now.

Unmentioned in all of this is that even if you somehow believe that this merger should be allowed because T-Mobile CEO John Legere is just so great, he’s stepping down as CEO this spring. Still, though, I’m sure this will work out great for all cell phone users in America.