Way back in 2010, I wrote about Sally Davies’s never-molding McDonald’s Happy Meal. Almost a decade later, rival Burger King has pledged to drop artificial preservatives from its own foods. The fast food chain is now touting the fact that their burgers will decay. That all sounds nice in theory, but the ad is not exactly whetting my appetite.

This picture does not make me want to eat Burger King. Then again, it doesn’t make me want to eat anything else either, so it’s probably a wash for Burger King.

The ad’s nauseating qualities have led me to a new business idea. Need to lose weight? Try my all-new “Pictures of Moldy Food” diet plan! Just look at a picture of moldy food for breakfast, a picture of moldy food for lunch, then eat a sensible dinner. The pounds will come flying off!