It was inevitable: the app updates could not be stopped, even while the rest of the world was paused. So it was that I found myself staring at a list of notes for rather ludicrous new versions of software suddenly gone useless. Here are four unnecessary updates, presented in increasing order of stupidity:

TripIt: Travel Planner

Not too many people are even leaving their houses these days, let alone flying or staying at hotels. A travel planning app is probably not doing a whole lot for most folks.

EventBrite

At first glance, a mobile ticketing app is even more useless than a travel app, what with “Events” as a whole being cancelled until further notice. However, it’s only fair to read the update notes, and those indicate Eventbrite is directing their attention toward online events. Fine, they get a pass.

Ticketmaster

Ticketmaster gets no breaks, however, because they are the absolute worst. It’s clear that these version notes were written many moons ago, and have been used repeatedly since. There’s no awareness that the world has changed and that live events are a thing of the past, and perhaps hopefully the too-distant future. I suppose I should just be grateful they didn’t charge me a a “venue fee” for being inside my own home while I updated.

OpenTable

This update was the one that really put me over the edge. At restaurants around the world, literally every table is open, and we can’t have any of them.

App makers, how long do you think you can keep on with this goddamn updating? “Forever,” they’ll say.

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