Behold, the greatest Instagram ad I’ve yet seen:

Like you, I have questions about this ad.

Questions for Rosenbauer US About This Ad for a Fire Truck:

• What list did I get on to receive this ad?

• A follow-up, how can I make sure I’m never, ever taken off of said list? Is tapping the ad repeatedly enough?

• Can private citizens actually purchase fire trucks?

• What in the world does “Your first due is your most important message to battle” mean?

• Is your marketing copywriter having a stroke? Quick, dispatch one of your emergency vehicles!

• Do fire trucks actually need to advertise? How much competition is there in this space?

• Let’s assume fire truck manufacturers do need to advertise. Are Instagram ads really an effective way to reach customers?

• Wait a minute, is this the result of all my research on the yellow Multipurpose Machine?

Anyhow, keep an eye out for me speeding down the streets of Boston in my brand-new fire engine this Christmas. I’ll be the one who doesn’t actually stop for any emergencies.