Too Many Slogans

Monday, July 20th, 2020

This is a “Constellation Medley” package of NatureSweet tomatoes:

Thanks to produce industry news site “AndNowUKnow”, I now know it features

“…a predetermined mix featuring the SunBursts and Glorys varieties, as well as three new tomatoes, the Jubilees, a chocolate grape tomato, and an orange grape tomato.”

Want to know more? OK!

“All these tomatoes have been bred for flavor with each answering a different calling – SunBursts are ideal for a sweet, healthy snack, the new orange grape tomato adds a burst of color and flavor to salads; while Glorys tomatoes are for cooking, Jubilees are ideal for sandwiches, and the new chocolate grape offers versatility for multiple uses.

That’s far more information about a package of tomatoes than I’ve ever received before, and yet I find myself with rather a lot of questions.

Questions for this package of tomatoes

  • Does one single product really need two different slogans?

  • Sadly, I have memorial service for my dear departed grandmother coming up. Can you recommend the right tomato for this occasion?

  • Is that a bumblebee in the upper left, representing the pollination of tomatoes bees perform? Because it looks like a tomato that’s simply dressed up as a bumblebee.

  • The tomatoes themselves appear to note where I should peel, using the words “let us out”. Does the “Wash me” text thus mean I actually need to cleanse the container itself?

  • Has anyone ever told you that you’re rather demanding?

Frankly, I think being raised right would result in a bit more in the way of manners.


If you enjoyed this post, get updates via Twitter, Facebook, or RSS.