What do you picture when you read the headline “Rogue grandma breaks bones on slide after sneaking into water park at 2am”? Me, I see a blue-haired biddy who has possibly broken out of her nursing home. Apparently, that was very much not the case!

UK woman Claire Vickers, 46, and friend Barry Douglas, 44, were stuck in a water slide flume for two hours with fractured shins and shattered feet before they were rescued. The pair had snuck into Aldershot Lido water park early August.

The drunken duo splashed water down the slide from the top in a bid to generate lubrication and speed before stepping into the side. But their drunken ride soon became a nightmare when they slammed into a barrier towards the bottom.

Now, that is downright horrific. And I’m curious why a closed waterslide needs a barrier at the bottom. But more to the point, even if a woman happens to have a child who has a child, describing a 46-year-old as a “rogue grandma” is just misleading.

Update (October 17, 2021): Friend-of-the-site Lex F. pointed out that the “boozy gran” in question is suing the water park. That is really something. Also, these dopes really should not have been given a platfom (in this case, a morning talk show).