I Was So Blind 

Also, “Flamethrowers? Really?” is a good name for a bill.

Recently, a man named Andre Abrams reportedly brandished a flamethrower over a parking dispute. That’s rather nuts, though Abrams indicates he was driven to it:

“This family, how could I say this — the worst thing that could ever happen to a neighborhood,” Abrams said. “They’ve had issues with other residents, and it needs to be brought to light.”

Brought to light? Or set alight?

Anyhow, this article has taught me some things. I now know that it is apparently legal to buy and posses a flamethrower almost everywhere in America.

“You’ve probably wondered if you can own a flamethrower, and guess what? You can!” [X Products LLC of Vancouver, Washington] said in a promotional video last year. “No permits or licenses needed.” It said the devices are legal to buy and own in every state except Maryland or California.

I had not previously wondered if I could own a flamethrower, because I simply assumed I could not. How foolish of me! Now I’ve learned something new and exciting! Still, however, I’m sure that flamethrowers are prohibitively expensive, right?

The XM42 Lite costs just $599

Oh. Oh my. That’s frighteningly affordable. It also looks both amazing and ridiculous:

A ridiculous-looking flamethrower

Aside from the need to sign a legal waiver and the likelihood of severe burns, the biggest drawback I see is giving money to a company called “Prepper Gun Shop”. Still, I can’t say I’m not tempted.