15 Minutes Could Give You a Sexually-Transmitted Disease 

Always get the accidental death, dismemberment, and HPV plan.

I don’t know if it could only happen in America. Minimally, however, in America, you can win a $5.2 million judgement against an auto insurance company after contracting an STD from sex inside a car they insured.

A Geico spokesperson did not immediately respond to a request for comment early Thursday.

OK, but did they check in with the spokeslizard? Surely he has something to say about this.