When I saw the headline “Monkey in “bullet-proof” vest found dead after bloody cartel shootout in Mexico”, I thought I wanted to know more. I was wrong. I suggest that you not to follow that link.

Instead, live in the world I once occupied, a place where a hardened cartel member so loved his pet monkey that he gave him the bullet-proof vest off his own back in an unsuccessful attempt to save the simian. It’s much nicer there.