Today in Duh 

If only they’d suspended operations a month earlier.

Despite the confirmed demise of all aboard the ill-fated Titan submersible, the story itself won’t die, because the media won’t let it. And so it is that we get a headline like this:

  • Titan submersible implosion updates: OceanGate says it has suspended operations

Right, I mean, of course. This is not news, it is surely the expected outcome when a company kills both its customers and its CEO. When the submersible first went missing, the world watched the rescue efforts and collectively thought “Like hell would I ever go on that thing”. Still, if a miraculous rescue had occurred, it’s probable a few additional rich outlier idiots would’ve signed up for future journeys. You know what they say: A fool and his money are soon imploded at the bottom of the ocean.

But once it was eventually determined that the sub had been lost, that was surely it for OceanGate. This was perhaps the most-widely covered story about people traveling in an unusual vessel since the balloon boy, and there was just no way the final result was going to be good for business.

And yet, the aforelinked story includes this:

The company had two more expeditions to the Titanic scheduled for June 2024, the website said.

Ah, yes, no. No. No, no, no. No.