NASA astronaut Frank Rubio was supposed to spend six months in space. Things did not quite work out that way, with Rubio’s return delayed by half a year. I’ve been finding myself alternating between horror and bemusement at how that might have played out.

• “Well folks, I’m excited to be coming home next week! Oh…what’s…no? A delay? Huh, OK. Well, how long, a day or two? Oh. Oh I see.”

When Rubio comes home later this month, he’ll at least have earned a new American space record.