In the past few days, I’ve seen an inordinate number of articles related to Amazon’s “Prime Big Deal Days”, which is apparently a separate event from Amazon’s “Prime Day 2026”. Despite the singular “day” in the name, “Prime Day” ran from June 23 to 26, while “Big Deal Days” is an October sale. I’m not much for prompted shopping, but these excessively hyped sales can be a good time to buy something I regularly purchase anyway, like vitamins or mouthwash. Alas, because I’m out of the country, this has all just been noise.
Amazon also popped up in much more entertaining fashion, though, related to their data collection on shoppers. It began with this Threads post, from which Futurism gathered a good collection of quotes. Corporate data collection is generally creepy, but this is mostly just ridiculous. There’s no way to know which of these are real (or even if any of them are, I suppose), but they certainly made me laugh.
My own profile is rather tame.1 Your humble author can’t deny that he “reads non-fiction and classic literature” and “consistently repurchases proven products” (like the aforementioned vitamins and mouthwash). Accurate or not, though, I’d really prefer not to be defined by assumptions based on a few random purchases.
You can’t be sure of that, Amazon! Maybe I bought those replacement brush heads to use on their own, as really inconvenient tiny manual toothbrushes.
Footnotes:
I tried and failed to find it via the website, so I had to install the Amazon mobile app. There, it was located under Account > Shopping Preferences > About You. ↩︎
