Previous “Ass Kickers” posts

Dr. Rümeysa Öztürk Kicks Ass 

Nevertheless, she persists.

Since last we checked in with Rümeysa Öztürk, she has repeatedly won court cases challenging her despicable treatment by the federal government. She was eventually approved to resume her research and teaching duties at Tufts, and last month, she wrote a piece for The Guardian reflecting on trauma. Her strength and persistence are inspiring.

But perhaps the most notable thing is the brief author bio at the end of the piece:

Rümeysa Öztürk holds a PhD in child study and human development

Despite all that has been done to her, Öztürk earned her PhD last month.

Results From the 2025 Boston Marathon

It was as great, and humbling, as ever.

It’s the day after Marathon Monday here in Boston, and thus a fine time to check in on results from the Boston Marathon. The event was a resounding success for the humans. People sometimes collapse at the finish line of a race, but here’s one entrant who fell just past the starting line.1 That man was John Korir, who picked himself up and went on to win the whole damned men’s race.

Let’s look at some numbers:

The Ass-Kicking Women

Amount by which 2023 and 2024 champion Hellen Obiri, aiming for a three-peat, beat the previous course record: 2 minutes and 18 seconds

Place that blazing fast run earned her: 2nd

Amount by which the 2025 women’s champion Sharon Lokedi smashed the women’s course record: 2 minutes and 37 seconds

Number of beautiful finish line mom hugs Lokedi received: 12

Speaking of Hugs

Boston Marathons won by incredible wheelchair athlete Marcel Hug: 8 (2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2021, 2023, 2024, 2025)

Boston Marathon course records set by incredible wheelchair athlete Marcel Hug: 3 (2017: 1:18:04; 2023: 1:17:06; 2024: 1:15:33)

Seconds by which incredible wheelchair athlete Marcel Hug missed a course record in 2021: 7, following a wrong turn

The Name’s the Same

Number of unrelated Johns Kelley who have won the Boston Marathon: 2 (Kelley the Elder in 1935 and 1945; Kelley the Younger in 1957)

Number of unrelated Roberts Cheruiyot who have won the Boston Marathon: 2 (Kipkoech in 2003, 2006, 2007, and 2008; Kiprono in 2010)

Number of related Korirs who have won the Boston Marathon: 2 (Brothers Wesley in 2012 and John in 2025)

Closing

Forget the Masters. The Boston Marathon is the real tradition unlike any other.


Footnotes:

  1. Korir’s video is archived here. ↩︎

  2. Lokedi’s video is archived here. ↩︎

Jasmin Paris Kicks Ass 

The race has about a 2.5% completion rate.

Many years ago, I watched a documentary called “The Barkley Marathons: The Race That Eats Its Young”. It tells the story of Lazarus Lake, and his very strange, brutally tough ultramarathon trail race. As Wikipedia notes, the race is “known for its extreme difficulty and many peculiarities”.

At the time of that 2014 documentary, only 10 people had ever finished the race, and none of them were women. A decade later, that’s finally changed.

Jasmin Paris slumped to the ground at the finish line after running for 59hrs 58mins and 21 seconds

Newly added to the group of finishers, which now numbers a grand total of 20, is the very first woman: Jasmin Paris. Paris finished in 59 hours, 58 minutes, and 21 seconds, which means she had just 99 seconds to spare before the race cut-off. As you can see above, she left it all out there on the course.

Sally Snowman Kicks Ass 

She’s the last official lighthouse keeper in America.

Back in 2015, I met a woman with the unlikely name of Sally Snowman. Since 2003, Snowman has been the keeper of Boston Light, the first lighthouse built in the American colonies. I was fortunate enough to be able to visit it for a tour.

A sign on Boston Light, noting it was established in 1716

That fall excursion included a boat ride out to Little Brewster Island, where Snowman showed us around.

Boston Light itself

We also had the chance to climb the lighthouse. At the top, one could see the lighthouse’s stunning lamp, and watch as it rotated.

The lamp

When she took the job in 2003, Sally Snowman was the first woman to ever serve as keeper of Boston Light. Twenty years later, she’s the very last official lighthouse keeper in the US.

Unfortunately, it’s no longer possible to visit Boston Light, as tours were halted after a failed safety inspection in 2018. Since then, Snowman continued to make maintenance trips, but she no longer resided on the island. Soon, on December 30, she’ll be retiring completely. It will mark the end of an era.

Before she heads off into the sunset, Snowman has been the subject of an excellent The New Yorker profile. It’s quite a read.

The view from Boston Light, looking back at BostonThe view from Boston Light looking back to Boston
[Photo courtesy of P. Kafasis]

Molly Seidel Kicks Ass 

“(Except, uh, then she set the American course record, so…)”

Yesterday, all-around bad-ass Molly Seidel toed the line for her first marathon in a year and a half. She had an impressive race, finishing in 8th place among women, and setting a new personal best of 2:23:07.1 That’s 5:28 per mile, for over 26 straight miles.

In February 2020, just before the pandemic, Seidel ran her very first marathon. It just so happened to be the US Olympics Trials, and her stunning second-place finish netted her a spot on the US Olympic team. A year later, when the COVID-delayed Olympics were finally held in Tokyo, Seidel again shocked the world by taking home the bronze medal. Since she literally roared across that finish line, Molly Seidel has found herself in the spotlight, amassing hundreds of thousands of followers on social media and a place in the hearts of countless runners.2

That’s all incredible, and yet these exceptional results are not the reason Seidel kicks ass. She should be feted instead for her willingness to bare herself before the world. Shortly before her Chicago race, Runner’s World published a tremendous profile on Molly Seidel. She’s been open about her substantial mental health struggles, which she delved into in that piece.

“I’m this incredibly flawed person who struggles so much. I think: How could I have won this thing when I’m so flawed? I look at all the people around me, all these accomplished people who have their shit together, and I’m like, ‘one of these things is not like the other,’” she says, taking a sip of her flat white. “I was literally in the Olympic Village thinking: Everybody is probably looking at me wondering: Why the hell is she here?”

They weren’t. They don’t. She knows that.

And yet her mind races as fast as she does. It takes up So. Much. Space. When she’s running, though, the noise disappears. She’s not Olympic Molly or Eating Disorder Molly, she’s not even, really, Runner Molly. “When I’m running,” she says, “I’m the most authentic version of myself.”

I’ve felt fortunate to see Seidel as we both ran around Boston, and to share a few words with her at the Falmouth Road Race. She’s an incredible inspiration, and as the wise folks at Puma know, that will remain true even if she never places again. Do yourself a favor, and read Rachel Levin’s article.


Footnotes:

  1. It was a hell of a day in Chicago, with records falling across multiple categories. Most notably, the new men’s marathon world record belongs to Kelvin Kiptum, whose blazing fast 2:00:35 cut 34 seconds off Eliud Kipchoge’s previous record. That’s 4:36s. Someone’s going to break 2 hours in an official race soon, and it’s going to be incredible.↩︎

  2. That inspiring video is archived here. ↩︎

Jolien Boumkwo Kicks Ass

She went the extra ~1/16th of a mile.

When multiple teammates were taken down by injuries, Belgian shot putter Jolien Boumkwo stepped up (and over), running the 100m hurdles to keep her team alive in this past weekend’s European Championships.

6 world-class hurdlers, and one additional competitor, much farther back
[Link]1

Boumko competing in the event provided her team with one point instead of zero. It also allowed us to see the fruition of a beautiful dream:

A tweet which reads “Every Olympic event should include one average person
competing, for reference.”
[Link]

On the 100-meter hurdles, 32.81 seconds is the new benchmark for the rest of us.


Footnotes:

  1. I’ve archived the full video. You may notice they sped it up, because 32+ seconds is kind of a long time. That’s a little bit comical, but you should also be sure to notice Boumkwo’s competitors shaking her hand after the race is finished. ↩︎

Iga Swiatek Kicks Ass 

Carb up before a match, not during

Tennis player Iga Swiatek has been leading the sport for quite some time, holding the top women’s ranking for well over a year straight. During her matches, she has frequently handed out bagels and breadsticks on the court. These food items aren’t literal, but can instead be found in the scores of her outmatched opponents. A bagel is when a player is shut out in a set 6-0, while a breadstick is when they only manage to grab a single game, losing 6-1.

As a result, fans have recently taken to talking about Iga’s Bakery. Charmingly, the star herself is unwilling to engage with it:

“I don’t want to talk about the bakery. Twitter can talk about it, but I’m just going to be focused on tennis.”

It’s admirable that Swiatek doesn’t want to engage with this, but the rest of us can certainly marvel at her dominance.

Stéphanie Frappart Kicks Ass 

And their knees were on display for the world to see.

Last Thursday, Stéphanie Frappart made history by serving as the first female head referee in a men’s World Cup match. She actually led a trio of women, who were served as the first all-female on-field crew in the men’s World Cup. The best part? It was really no big deal.

In taking charge for Germany’s showdown with Costa Rica in the final round of games in Group E, Frappart became the first woman to officiate in a men’s World Cup and it felt decidedly normal.

Frappart is used to making history: she was the first woman to referee in men’s Ligue 2, then Ligue 1 in France and the first woman to referee in the Champions League and Uefa Super Cup.

In recent years, more and more women have served as coaches and officials in men’s sports, and it’s an excellent thing to see.

Courtney Dauwalter Kicks Ass 

You, too, are stronger than you think.

I run a lot. Last month, I reached my fourth consecutive annual kilomile. And yet, for all that running, the very longest distances I compete in are marathons. 26.2 miles is more than enough for me.

There’s another breed of runners who compete in ultramarathons, races which are 50, 100, 200 miles (and even longer). Courtney Dauwalter is probably the world’s greatest ultrarunner, female or male. How does she do it? Why does she do it?

Outsiders can’t always understand why she would put herself through something like this—or why anyone would. If only they could stand with her on these mountains after a run, out of breath and full of fire, feeling the profound satisfaction that comes from putting one’s body on the line to see how strong one’s mind can be.

That satisfaction is certainly a motivator. But another factor is the persistent exploration of the pain cave, as Mirin Fader details in a tremendous profile for The Ringer. The distances Dauwalter and her fellow adventurers run can seem unfathomable, but the mental battles they wage can be relevant to all of us.

Holly and Keely Petitt Kick Ass 

“Let’s hope Holly doesn't need to ground Keely” is an awful joke I wish I hadn’t written.

Last month, on Southwest flight #3658, Captain Holly Petitt and First Officer Keely Petitt made history. With Holly at the helm, and Keely acting as her co-pilot, they became the airline’s first-ever mother-daughter pilot duo.

Holly and Keely in the cockpit

Holly began her career as a flight attendant, before deciding she’d rather be a pilot. I have to imagine that is not a transition that’s made very often. Keely, meanwhile, knew she wanted to fly in her mother’s…wing…steps (?) from a very early age. Now, they’re plying the skies together.