Previous “Links” posts

The Self-Medicating Orangutan 

Dr. Rakus, M.D.

Apparently, orangutans understand medicine.

After an orangutan hurt his face, scientists observed him chewing a plant known to relieve pain and applying a paste made from the leaves to the injury.

Impressive.

A Bee Delay 

M-V-🐝! M-V-🐝!

Earlier this week, a Major League Baseball game was delayed nearly two hours due to…bees. That’s amusing, but it has happened before. It was actually what happened after the bees were cleared that stood out to me.

When the bees were discovered near home plate, the teams knew the game would have to be delayed.

D-backs vice president of operations Mike Rock was alerted to the problem, and he told both managers that there would be a delay. The danger was that a foul ball that hit near that area would disturb the bees and cause them to move down toward fans or players.

At that point, Rock called Blue Sky Pest Control. The company called employee Matt Hilton away from his son’s tee ball game and drastically altered the course of his day:

Once Hilton arrived at the ballpark, he was ushered into a cart and driven onto the field, where he received a standing ovation from the crowd.

“I wasn’t [expecting that],” Hilton said. “I thought I was just going to do my thing and cruise out. But it was fun.”

Indeed, he played to the crowd, waving his arms for them to make more noise. As the scissor lift took him up toward where the bees were gathered, Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out for a Hero” blared over the public address system.

While the crowd cheered, Hilton calmed the bees with a non-toxic spray, then vacuumed them up for release elsewhere. After that, the field was ready for play.

However, before the game started, Hilton was called upon once again. For his second act, he delivered a ceremonial first pitch, which is both amazing and ridiculous. How exactly did it come about? Who made that call? Didn’t Arizona already have someone lined up for to do that?

I can think of only three explanations.

  • There were multiple first pitches
    Semantically, that’s not possible, of course. Nevertheless, I have definitely seen multiple ceremonial “first” pitches at a ballgame, and it could’ve happened here.

  • The delay led to scheduling issues
    Given that the game was delayed almost two hours, it’s possible the person originally scheduled to toss out a first pitch had to go. In this scenario, Hinton stepped up twice to play the hero.

  • Matt Hilton bumped the original first pitcher
    This is my favorite possibility. I hope some local celebrity was scheduled to throw out the first pitch, until Arizona told them they’d been bumped.

I’d very much like to know which of the above occurred.

A Gallery of Emoji Paintings 

In the immortal words of C. Montgomery Burns, “I know what I hate. And I don’t hate this.”

Over at ImFineImFine.com, ND Stevenson has recreated masterpieces with emoji.

I cannot tell you how or why, but at some point a few years back I discovered that Instagram Stories not only allows you unlimited emojis, it ALSO allows you to enlarge them to an apparently infinite degree. Thus, a very strange new hobby was born. As far as I can tell, I am the inventor of this art form, since I am a genius and everyone else has a life.

Here, for instance, is a side-by-side of Grant Wood’s original “American Gothic” and ND Stevenson’s emoji “American Gothic”. See if you can tell which is which!

The original painting, and an emoji variant

Outstanding work. Don’t miss the commentary accompanying each piece in the gallery.

Cricket Deserved Better 

We all do.

It seems extremely unlikely that you haven’t already heard the story of South Dakota governor Kristi Noem shooting her dog, Cricket. And also her unnamed goat. And more recently, putting down three horses via unspecified means. But on the off-chance you haven’t, give this link a read, so you can be aware of what a lunatic this woman is.

Noem has told this story herself, in her forthcoming book, in an ill-advised attempt to demonstrate her ability to do difficult things. Much like the dearly departed Cricket, however, that dog won’t hunt. This story speaks volumes about Noem, and every single thing it says about her is negative. Even at a time when 88 felony charges aren’t enough to sink a political future, this may be too much.

But speaking of the incredibly stupid season we seem to be living through, the question I have is this: how long will it be before conservatives start shooting their dogs to own the woke libs?

No Appetite for Ineffective Political Violence 

“It's not just that Fox News told them entering New York results in instant murder”.

Over at Salon, the always-astute Amanda Marcotte has an excellent piece discussing why Donald Trump’s supporters simply aren’t showing up for him at his hush money trial.

A Possible Sea Change in Aviation 

OK, great, but where’s my centaur?

New Yorker writer Gideon Lewis-Kraus recently investigated the current status of “flying cars”. As his article notes, most past designs were “jury-rigged compromises between a lousy automobile and a stupid airplane”. But now, thanks to advances in electric motors and batteries, small personal aircraft called eVTOLs (short for “electric vertical takeoff and landing vehicle”) are in the works at a plethora of companies. Lewis-Kraus even got to fly one himself.

I Hope We Eventually Get to See the Painting 

“But is it our art?”

I occasionally engage in scampish art of put-pocketing, wherein rather than filching an item from someone, I instead slip something into a friend’s pocket or bag. Though I rarely get to see the end result, I still delight in the idea of them finding these unexpected things and wondering how they got there.

As such, I can certainly appreciate this artist trying to earn his big break. For now, however, it does not seem to be going well.

No Need to Fact-Check This 

Separating satire from misinformation is difficult but essential.

Apparently, free speech absolutist Elon Musk has died.

Voyager 1 Is Back From the Dead 

Look at what we can do.

Back in February, I noted that after nearly 47 years, Voyager 1 may be dying. But Goonies NASA nerds never say die. After months of meticulous debugging work, we are once again receiving valid data from Voyager.

On April 18, 2024, the team began sending the code to its new location in the FDS memory. This was a painstaking process, as a radio signal takes 22.5 hours to traverse the distance between Earth and Voyager 1, and it then takes another 22.5 hours to get a signal back from the craft.

By Saturday (April 20), however, the team confirmed their modification had worked. For the first time in five months, the scientists were able to communicate with Voyager 1 and check its health.

Jubilant
A jubilant flight team, after receiving valid data from Voyager 1 for the first time in five months
[Photo credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech]

Patching code from 15 billion miles away to work around a corrupted 46-year-old memory chip is pretty damned amazing.

The Patriotism of Paying Your Fair Share 

If Mark Cuban is preparing to run for office, a lot of places could do worse.

Last week, billionaire Mark Cuban wired a massive $275.9 million dollars to the IRS, as payment for his 2023 taxes. That is a whole lot of money, but Cuban smartly said he’s happy to pay what he owes. After all, as Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote, taxes are the price we pay for a civilized society.

Also, a $275.9 million tax bill is a really solid humblebrag.