Previous “This Week in Trump” posts

There Was a Horse Loose on a Cargo Plane 

Come for the horse, stay for the lesson on fuel jettisoning

For four years, America dealt with a horse loose in a hospital. It was pretty awful, and the horrific possibility that the horse might return to the hospital is terribly dispiriting.

For the moment, however, we can enjoy the story of an actual horse loose on a cargo plane.

Why Gerald Ford?

Per Futurama, we do know that Ford has never felt voting to be all that essential to the process.

This morning, my pal Amy Jane pointed me to a tidbit from a mostly-unrelated story about one of Donald Trump’s many lawyers, Evan Corcoran. Please enjoy this peculiar image:

[W]hile sitting together in Trump’s office, in front of a Norman Rockwell-style painting depicting Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford, Bill Clinton and Trump playing poker…

I am fascinated by the idea of this painting, and boy do I have questions.

Questions about a bizarre painting purportedly showing Donald Trump playing poker with Ronald Reagan, Gerald Ford, and Bill Clinton

  • Has Donald Trump ever played poker in his life? Do you imagine that he thinks he can play poker?

  • Can you conceive of a worse poker player than Donald Trump? Keep in mind that bluffing is a strategic maneuver, different from simply lying about reality.

  • Why Gerald Ford?! Even with Republicans turning on and abandoning Reagan, and despite the fact that Trump continues to harbor an epically pathetic grudge against Hillary Clinton, I find Ford to be the absolute oddest inclusion at this imaginary table.

  • Is it because the only thing possibly more ridiculous than being elected President while not receiving a majority, or even a plurality, of the votes, is attaining the office without anyone outside of Michigan ever voting for you?

  • Was this painting commissioned by Trump? Was it an unrequested gift?

  • May I see this painting?

After a bit of searching for a picture of this ridiculousness, I suspect the description is wrong, and that the real painting contains no Clinton at all. It seems likely that the work in question was instead this painting by an artist named Andy Thomas, which was notably mocked a few years back. That piece includes Gerald Ford solely because he is a Republican president. Hell, even Coolidge is in there!

If there really is a painting of Trump playing poker with Clinton, I want to see it. For now, however, my bet is that the details got lost in the shuffle.

A Very Brief Moment of Warmth 

Will it feel good for even a couple of seconds?

Despite the fact that he’s recently been indicted for dozens upon dozens of very real crimes, Donald Trump is currently the front-runner to be the 2024 Republican presidential nominee.

Well, one Republican told it like it apparently is:

Former Georgia official compares nominating Trump to ‘peeing your pants’

‘It’s gonna feel good for a couple of seconds, but then you wake up,’ former lieutenant governor Geoff Duncan says

That may not be the classiest analogy, but it did give me a doleful laugh.

This Might Not Actually Mean Very Much 

This is a cheap shot and I don’t care a whit.

ChatGPT is an artificially intelligent chatbot that uses massive language models to appear very knowledgeable about many topics. The general public has had access to it for a couple months now, and the results it’s produced are often impressive, or at least amusing. Recently, I saw the headline “ChatGPT passes MBA exam given by a Wharton professor”.

Now, that might sound impressive, but let’s bear in mind that Donald Trump also managed to graduate from Wharton. So, the bar may not be very high.

Update (January 27, 2023): See also “Law school exam” and “Rudy Giuliani”.

The Sore Losers Clubhouse 

It’s a little on the nose, Jair.

Mar-A-Lago is becoming the place for losers to hang out and lick their wounds.

Making Attorneys Get Attorneys 

Trump’s really got that Midas touch, except instead of gold it’s shit.

In June, Donald Trump’s legal team provided a sworn statement that Trump no longer had any classified documents in his possession. As an August raid proved, this was false. Now, his attorneys are turning on themselves to avoid prosecution, and it really just couldn’t happen to a more deserving bunch.

Bobb, who was Trump’s custodian of record at the time, did not draft the statement, according to the three sources who do not want to comment publicly because of the sensitive nature of the sprawling federal investigation.

Instead, Trump’s lead lawyer in the case at the time, Evan Corcoran, drafted it and told her to sign it, Bobb told investigators according to the sources…Before Bobb signed the document, she insisted it be rewritten with a disclaimer that said she was certifying Trump had no more records “based upon the information that has been provided to me,” the sources said of what she told investigators. Bobb identified the person who gave her that “information” as Corcoran, the sources said.

If someone else drafts a statement but refuses to sign it themselves, and if you demand a disclaimer before you’ll sign it, maybe you should just go ahead and not sign it. Just a thought.

There Are a Lot of Regrets, Dave 

It seems like a lot of money for two planes.

In 2018, Boeing signed a deal with then-President Donald Trump’s government to provide new 747-8s to serve as presidential transports. Somehow, this deal was set to pay the corporation an astonishing $4 billion for two Air Force Ones.1. Even more astonishing, Boeing is now projecting that they’ll lose $1.1 billion on it.

I am shocked, shocked to find that a deal with Donald Trump is turning out poorly for everyone involved.


  1. I suspect many of my readers already know this, but “Air Force One” is not actually a specific plane. While it’s frequently used to refer to the plane most commonly used by the president, “Air Force One” is actually the call sign used for any US Air Force plane when it’s ferrying the president. Likewise, “Marine One” refers to any US Marine Corps aircraft (usually a helicopter) with the president on board. ↩︎

360 Extra Votes 

This was a stellar use of resources and energy.

Last month, I wrote about the ridiculous “audit” being conducted in Arizona. The results are in, and all the audit found was more votes for Biden.

“This is yet the latest in a string of defeats for Donald Trump saying the election was rigged and fraudulent,” longtime Republican election attorney Benjamin Ginsberg said in a press call with the elections group States United. “[This] was their best attempt. This was an audit in which they absolutely cooked the procedures, they took funding from sources that should delegitimatize the findings automatically. This was Donald Trump’s best chance to prove his allegations of elections being rigged and fraudulent and they failed.”

Surely this is the last we’ll hear of this matter.

That Seems About Right 

It couldn't have happened to a more deserving bunch.

The ridiculously named “Cyber Ninjas” have been conducting what has generously been called an “audit” of ballots in the 2020 presidential election in Arizona. There’s no evidence of any chicanery during last year’s election, but they’re still hoping to sow distrust and doubt in the fairly won presidency of Joe Biden. It’s a truly shameful effort, and it’s going to go on at least a little while longer. While a full report of this ludicrous display of dipshittery was due yesterday, it’s been delayed, because three of the five Ninjas have contracted severe cases of COVID-19.

Today Is a Good Day

The battle for the soul of a nation rages on.

The horrific presidency of Donald Trump has ended. America, and the world, survived what I dearly hope will be the worst presidency of my lifetime. President Joe Biden is now the 46th president of the United States.

Small even in his departure, Donald Trump chose not to attend his successor’s inauguration. So much the better. The last minutes of his dishonest, divisive term found him exiled in Florida, while the world watched power transfer to President Biden in Washington, D.C.

There’s an incredible amount of work to be done, but let’s take just a moment to appreciate the end of something wretched, and the beginning of a chance for better. Today is a good day for America. Today is a good day for the world.