Just over a year ago, the world was introduced to the Barvd emoji. Lamentably, however, there hasn’t been an official edition of Barvd since last January. Fortunately, plenty of awful was collected since then, so let’s take a look at 2014 in unpleasantness.
Thanks, Scott! It’s always good to kick things off with a truly horrifying thought.
I’m not saying you should visit RateMyPoo.com, because you shouldn’t. Hell, that’s why I didn’t even make that a link. But you should be aware that a bowel movement rating site exists, and allow that fact to color your impression of humanity.
This horrifying tweet from @heidihitschildren was a runner-up in February, and helped Scott to his second appearance here in just three months.
The cat grosses me out, but the sleep-mind cracks me up.
Probably the worst thing about this is that it’s technically correct, which is the best kind of correct.
We have an intermission here, as much like in August of 2013, no one grossed me out in June of 2014. It seems like my gag reflex takes summer vacations. Ah well — moving on!
And now, a passage from my upcoming novel “Mumphrey’s Downfall”, set amongst the backdrop of world diplomacy and international intrigue:
“As soon as he said it, he knew he’d made a terrible mistake. Forks and glasses clattered to the floor, and then the room fell silent. His words hung there, like a fart in the freezer.”
I am currently accepting bids from publishers.
It seems 2014 was a good year for gross-out tweets about bugs.
I particularly like the way Michaela’s tweet does not transcribe this as a quote from the foot. Rather, it is a simple statement of fact.
Sushi does not work that way!
Just re-reading this, I had a visceral gag. Awful, Matt, just awful.
Please allow my earlier comment, as well as @antichrista’s, to serve as a reply:
Damn straight. Insta-Barvd of the year, is more like it. Thanks a lot, Clarko. Jesus Crist.
Sometimes, I stop and take stock of things. “Self,” I’ll ask, in these moments of introspection, “are you really spending time compiling all the gross things people put out there on social media?”. Yes. Yes, I am, so if you’ve seen an awful tweet, Instagram pic or other post, send it in or just tweet a link to @PBones.
Until next time!