Ridiculous Products: New York Spring Water

Recently, New York City-based drug store Duane Reade started selling their own brand of bottled water. The name they chose could use a bit of work. They’re calling it “New York Spring Water”.

New York City and New York State are not known as the most sanitary places in the world, and the Hudson River has had plenty of problems with pollution. And yet here it is, New York Spring Water (pictures courtesy of friend-of-the-site Ally F.):

New York Spring Water bottle

Most bottled water is fairly stupid, of course, but it’s the marketing here which makes New York Spring Water truly ridiculous. In addition to the name, dig that catchy, incredibly defensive slogan:

It's clean. It's natural. We promise.
It’s clean. It’s natural. We promise.

Such a slogan attempts to acknowledge the negative associations and overcome them with earnestness. Sadly, earnestness and New York City go together about as well as, well, cleanliness and New York City. Nevertheless, I suppose the slogan is better than what might have been expected out of New York. After all, they could have gone with “Wadya, scared?!” or even “Just shaddup and drink it already!”.