The Victim’s Name Is Italian for “Bitter Valentine” 

A man who shall remain nameless [See update below. -Ed.] met Monique Harris in Pittsburgh’s Hill District on Monday night. She spent the night at the man’s home because “she needed a place to stay”. And then in the morning, instead of making the man breakfast, Harris stole his wallet. And his car.

The man discovered his car was missing as he was headed to his job. So instead of going to work, the victim did what anyone would do. He went and stood around the area where he originally met Harris, for hours and hours.

…after he had been standing there throughout the day, he eventually saw her drive by in his car. “She drove right by me — thank God the light was red — and I ran over to the car and pulled her right out of the car,” said the victim.

This is a pretty good story. Harris crashed the victim’s car trying to get away, and he proceeded to pull her out of the car and put her in a goddamned headlock. To top it all off, it all went down outside a police station, so the police promptly arrested Harris.

What really makes this story, however, is this picture of the man himself:

The Happy Victim

Now that is one happy victim.

Update (April 29th, 2017): Almost seven years after this story was posted, an associate of the victim in question contacted this site to request that the story be removed, as it had become a first-page hit for the man’s name. While One Foot Tsunami is not in the habit of removing posts, edits have been made to remove the name of the victim. Determining why it might be problematic to be identified as the victim here is left as an exercise for the reader.