I have long been amused by the automated well-wishing a modern person is likely to receive on the occasion of their birth. This year, I received a note from a credit union with whom I hold a credit card. With a subject line of “Happy Birthday, PAUL!”, I could really feel the personalized love. The email also included this:

• A rich life is one full of family, friends and financial security. We hope that this year embodies all of that.

Ah, sure, the three F’s of happiness, family, friends, and fuh—inancial security. That is definitely an oft-repeated phrase, and we all hope for exactly those three things, in equal measure.

• To celebrate your special day, we’re offering a free weekly six-part wellness coaching series, to help reduce financial stress and gain peace of mind.

Oh…a weekly six-part wellness coaching series. How ’bout that?

I don’t know what to say. Except, perhaps, “What the hell is a ‘money psychologist’?”