The Beavers Seem to Be Learning 

Wednesday, June 15th, 2022

In a story so Canadian it ought to come with a side of poutine and a pair of hockey tickets, the actions of a solitary beaver knocked out internet and cellular service in British Columbia.

Officials have now identified a beaver as the cause of a June 7 outage which left many residents of northwestern B.C. without internet, landline and cellular service for more than eight hours.

The beaver gnawed its way through an aspen tree which then fell on both BC Hydro lines and a Telus fibre-optic cable line strung along BC Hydro poles between Topley and Houston.

If you recall a similar story from just over a year ago, good for you! In that incident, where a beaver chewed through a fiber optic cable itself, fewer than 1,000 people were affected. This latest attack was both more complex and more devastating. By my calculation, well over 100,000 people were affected. But why? What are these beaver terrorists up to?

I don’t know the answer to that question, but I can tell you that once again, an innocent animal is being smeared. Just look at this accompanying photo of what is surely just some random behavior unrelated to this crime:

Then again, even the rodent pictured may not actually be so innocent. After all, beavers are supposed to be herbivores, and this little goblin sure looks like it has blood on its teeth. And don’t even get me started on those claws.

All in all, I find myself with a growing concern about these furry little varmints. You can be sure I’ll post more on this story as it develops, unless of course the beavers take down my FiOS connection to silence me.


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