Welcome to Barvd.com

For the full backstory on Barvd.com, see this post. Bavrd.com is a simple redirect, showing the archives of posts containing nauseating tweets.

Submit others for consideration or just enjoy!

Barvd: April 7th, 2011 Edition

Thursday, April 7th, 2011

It’s here! It’s finally here! The spring edition1 of Barvd (What’s Barvd?) has arrived, and it’s as gross as ever. This episode starts with a disgusting use of power tools, then takes a sharp turn into vile foods.

Unexpected application for hand-held power sander: removing the house's previous owner's boogers from under a built-in desk's ledge.
@marcoarment

I think if I discovered something like this in the house I’d just bought, I’d exercise my rights in the cooling-off period and cancel the sale. That, or burn the place down for the insurance money.

Yuck: I do not recommend Dairy Queen's new Meat Lover's Blizzard.
@scottsimpson

As promised, a sharp turn into vile culinary concoctions! Scott’s diseased mind is making back-to-back appearances (see February). Fortunately, this item does not exist.

My son just made himself a peanut butter, jelly, ham, and yogurt sandwich on wheat bread ends. Let me know if you want the recipe.
@seanhussey

This item, however, presumably does exist. PB & J & ham is bad. Adding yogurt to that is just a disaster.

Noah's Bagels pays tribute to hundreds of years of Jewish culinary history with their Cookies & Cream Bagel Poppers Made With Oreo® Cookies.
@cabel

This item definitely exists2, and it’s offensive to both the senses and the bagel industry at large.

Welcome aboard TriMet! Today's bus odor is: [SZECHUAN FARTS]
@stevenf

And that’s how you close out a food theme!

Submit Your Own
If you’ve spotted a horrendous tweet, wipe the vomit off your shirt and submit a link.


Footnotes:

  1. Seasonal editions of Barvd actually seems like a pretty good timetable. Then again, “whenever the hell I feel like it” is a whole lot easier schedule to keep. ↩︎

  2. Picture via “She doesn’t like it“. ↩︎

Barvd: February 7th, 2011 Edition

Monday, February 7th, 2011

Welcome to 2011’s first edition of Barvd (What’s Barvd?), where some of the most vile tweets are collected to amuse and abuse your senses. Sit down, strap in, and prepare to be disgusted!

Sometimes I think I get a new-looking DVD from Netflix because no one rents the movie and I get sad. Then I get a DVD with dead skin on it.
@swamibooba

If I’d thought about it, I guess I’d have hoped that there were some kind of cleaning robots at Netflix to clean the movies between rentals. But it seems we’re all swapping disgusting germs, and pieces of epidermis, as we swap movies.

The next generation growing up playing "TSA agent" instead of "doctor" may be the saddest part of this whole mess.
@jimray

Politics often make people sick, but political-based vomit? That’s new. And distressing.

Can -- can we hold a nationwide seminar to teach moms that 'come' isn't a word they should try to abbreviate when texting?
@_mattie

No comment – I wouldn’t touch this one with Oedipus’s dick.

After a long winter run my penis looks like one of your hamster's babies that didn't make it.
@scottsimpson

Speaking of dicks, congratulations Scott! Your cold, shriveled dead-hamster-baby penis has sickened me, and now, the world.

My toothbrush smells like a delicious cheese. Don't know whether to feel proud or disgusted.
@danielpunkass

Sometimes tweets lose their ability to nauseate over time. Like cheese, however, this one has only gotten sharper with age.

Submit Your Own
If you’ve spotted a disgusting tweet, wipe the vomit off your shirt and submit a link.

Barvd: September 28th, 2010 Edition

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

In March and April, Barvd (What’s Barvd?) was a monthly feature. However, after two arduous months of collecting and sharing the grossness, it became clear that this was simply too much vileness, too frequently. Barvd is back to being an occasional feature, but it’s here today with a double dose of disgusting to deprive you of the desire to dine.

tj Tweet
@tj

Dexter is a show depicting fairly gruesome murders by a serial killer who hunts other serial killers. There’s blood, gore, and evil. And yet, John Lithgow’s naked ass was indeed the most offensive part of season four.

samhey Tweet
@samhey

I believe the word you’re looking for is bacne. The word I’m looking for is “Bluuuurgh”.

mike)ftw Tweet
@mike_ftw

thedayhascome Tweet
@thedayhascome

Homeless people deserve the physical pleasure of sexual relations, however offensive to the senses it may be. But Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried sweating it out between the sheets? That’s got to constitute torture for anyone who has to hear it.

mikeash Tweet
@mikeash

Yes, Marvin of “Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face” face. This Marvin. Congratulations on your new baby girl though, Mike!

davidcairns Tweet
@davidcairns

Mr. Cairns is a rising star in the nascent field of pube-based comedy. He’s also no longer employed at the company where he worked when tweeting this.

antichrista Tweet
@antichrista

Which is more disgusting, the smell of burning hair, or the pun? It’s a close one.

just_alison Tweet
@just_alison

Criminy, “sweaty hospital smell”? This was just one of four nominations for Ms. Agosti, but it’s easily the winner.

clarko Tweet
@clarko

This is gross, but it’s better than pubic hair being the pubic hair of restaurant food.

Submit Your Own
Enjoy your lunch, and if you’ve spotted a disgusting tweet, submit a link.

Barvd: April 2010

Friday, May 7th, 2010

Just in time for lunch, the April edition of Barvd is here (What’s Barvd?) with more nausea-inducing tweets! Try to keep that turkey sandwich down as you read on:

badbanana Tweet
@badbanana

“Crunchy” (also known as “Chunky”) peanut butter is disgusting, but here in America everyone is entitled to their own opinions about what sorts of things pass for food, no matter how incorrect they may be. Crunchy butter, however, just makes me physically ill. What could possibly be making it crunchy? Oh god…

davidcairns Tweet
@davidcairns

Oh sure, your mother knows you’re sorry, David, but what about the rest of us? We’ve had to suffer through your repellant and possibly pornographic Rapunzel re-telling. Don’t we deserve an apology as well? Or better yet, an explanation?

antichrista Tweet
@antichrista

Now that’s just fucked up is what that is.

mileskahn Tweet
@mileskahn

Sometimes folks know when they’re being gross. Sometimes they even hashtag it. And sometimes, that acknowledgement still isn’t enough.

Aimee_B_Loved Tweet
@Aimee_B_Loved

I first read about the weight-loss drug Alli back in 2007, from this hilarious and horrifying link. The part which has haunted me ever since is the website copy which read:

The excess fat that passes out of your body is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.

Oh bloody chunder, why?! Why compare it to pizza oil? How is that helping?!

That awful, awful note will be it for this month, but if you’ve spotted a disgusting tweet, you can nominate it for May. Submit a link and check back, or just subscribe to One Foot Tsunami.

Barvd: March 2010

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

Barvd is now a monthly feature (What’s Barvd?), appearing at the beginning of each month to show the foulest tweets of the past month. So today’s installment features the most disgusting tweets from the month of March. And new this month, commentary!

adamisacson Tweet
@adamisacson

I’ve run marathons. At the end, if you did it right and left it all on the course, you feel horrible. Your body hates you, and the contents of your stomach are threatening to make a re-appearance. Even with that in mind, I think this particular marathon would make me much, much sicker.

jasonpermenter Tweet
@jasonpermenter

Body odor on its own is fairly gross, but the idea of actually swallowing it? That’s truly revolting.

luckyshirt Tweet
@luckyshirt

Humans have a visceral retching reaction to sour milk. I never thought a tweet would cause the same reaction, but here I am, stomach lurching.

antichrista Tweet
@antichrista

If you get a dreadlock in your beer, you get yourself a new beer. That’s just a rule to live by.

awryone Tweet
@awryone

I refuse to comment on this tweet. I do not, however, refuse to share its horrors with you.

So there they are, the most appalling tweets of March. If you’ve spotted a disgusting tweet, why not nominate it for April? Submit a link, then check back at the beginning of May.

Better still, subscribe to One Foot Tsunami. The first million subscribers get it free, so act fast!

Barvd: February 16th Edition

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Barvd’s third installment is here (What’s Barvd?), so get ready to get nauseated! Grab a bucket and read away:

texburgher Tweet
@texburgher

biorhythmist Tweet
@biorhythmist

sween Tweet
@sween

biorhythmist Tweet
@biorhythmist

damselesque Tweet
@damselesque

That’s all pretty gross, and you’re all sickening in my book. My disgusting, disgusting book.

Submit Your Own
Have you spotted your own disgusting tweets? Suggest them!

Barvd: January 22nd Edition

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Barvd is back (What’s Barvd?) with more nausea-inducing tweets! Just try holding down your lunch as you read on!

abigvictory Tweet
@abigvictory

jkubicek Tweet
@jkubicek

ccsteff Tweet
@ccsteff

trelvix Tweet
@trelvix

nevenmrgan Tweet
@nevenmrgan

We laughed. We cried. We puked. Now let’s never speak of these again. Especially Neven’s.

Submit Your Own
Have you spotted your own disgusting tweets? Suggest them!

Barvd: December 19th Edition

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

Accompanying the Newest Tweet Tracker introductory post, here’s the first full installment of Barvd. You may also wish to check out the Origins post.

Moltz Tweet
From @moltz

Seanhusser Tweet
From @seanhussey

Sloganeerist Tweet
From @sloganeerist

Poeks Tweet #1
From @poeks

Poeks Tweet #2
Another from @poeks

Submit Your Own
Have you spotted your own disgusting tweets? Suggest them!

Bavrd: Origins

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

Be sure to read the Newest Tweet Tracker post to fully understand this post. These two tweets constitute the origins of Barvd, and this post is backdated to the day Bavrd.com was purchased.

Texburgher Tweet
From @texburgher

Msteciuk Tweet
From @msteciuk