The Microsoft Smurface is very dumb, and it should be all blue.

Nevertheless, let us recognize what an absolutely tremendous name it is.

If you want one, act fast, because it’s limited to just 100 units.

If you’ve ever thought “Sure, a high-performance German automobile sounds great, but I also want to take video meetings in Microsoft Teams while I drive”, well then, Mercedes has you covered. What’s that? No one has ever thought that, ever? Well, I’m sure we can trust automakers to give us what we need, even when we don’t think we want it at all. Why, if Henry Ford had asked his customers what they wanted, they’d have said “a faster horse”.

The aforelinked press release details how this works:

Mercedes-Benz is launching a new version of its Meetings for Teams app. With this update, drivers can use the in-car camera while driving, allowing other participants to see them during a meeting. Given the brand’s focus on safety, the use of the camera abides by the laws of each country and has been approved for use while the vehicle is in motion. The meeting video stream turns off automatically as soon as the camera is activated to prevent driver distraction. As a result, any shared screens or slides in the meeting are not visible to the driver – and the camera can be turned off at any time.

This seems to wind up much like calling in to a meeting from a phone, in that you can’t see anyone or anything, but now other attendees get to witness your dumb driving face.

In 2022, I wrote about the Dyson Zone, a “wearable purifier” that was also a set of headphones. At the time, the odd fusion was merely announced, not released. The next year, though, the company began selling the product for the incredible price of $950 USD.

I’m more likely to pay $950 to not have to look like that.

Since its release, the price of the Zone has fallen steadily. Now, it seems to be completely dead. Wired got an exclusive interview with Jake Dyson, who holds the ignominious distinction of being the inventor of the Zone, as well as the only person photographed wearing it.

And perhaps most importantly of all, the whole Zone experience has led Jake Dyson to an extremely important realization—at least when it comes to headphones: “One of the things we’ve learned is obviously people really do bloody care about what it looks like when it’s on your head.”

In my earlier post, I said I would be not at all shocked to never see anyone wearing the Dyson Zone. Setting aside that promotional photograph of Jake Dyson himself, it now seems quite certain I never will.

Long before he was a billionaire, Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang worked at an Oregon Denny’s location for several years. According to Denny’s, “Back then, always on the move, hunger and genius struck”, and Huang created a not-at-all famous dish, now called “Breakfast Bytes”:

“Genius” might be overstating it. Also, I’d really like a picture showing how this is consumed. If it’s made to be eaten on the move, presumably it does not require a knife and fork. So then, does one eat it like a taco and get syrup all over their hands? Did no one think to put the syrup on the inside, along with the sausage? Am I a culinary genius?

Anyhow, a decade later, Huang had moved from food service to tech. In 1993, a booth at a San Jose Denny’s was the location where Huang and his co-founders agreed to form Nvidia. All of that is apparently the reason why Nvidia partnered with Denny’s to promote a limited-time branded menu offering.

“NVIDIA Breakfast Bytes” is certainly no “Moons Over My Hammy”, but it has a certain understated stupidity all its own. Sadly (?), I took too long to write about this. The limited-time offer ran out earlier this month, and the Bytes have now left the menu. Sorry or you’re welcome.

In 1994, Green Day released their seminal album “Dookie”. It brought both the band and punk music in general into the mainstream, selling tens of millions of copies along the way. Now, 30 years later, they’ve demastered the album. Each of the 15 tracks (14 + 1 hidden) have been placed onto a ridiculous format, like a Game Boy cartridge:

Other formats include 8-track, doorbell, Teddy Ruxpin, and even a bone-conduction audio toothbrush.

From the site, where you can listen to all of the tracks, and enter a lottery to purchase any of the very limited number of real objects created for this:

Instead of smoothing out its edges and tweaking its dynamic ranges, this version of Dookie has been meticulously mangled to fit on formats with uncompromisingly low fidelity, from wax cylinders to answering machines to toothbrushes. The listening experience is unparalleled, sacrificing not only sonic quality, but also convenience, and occasionally entire verses.

The result is Dookie Demastered: the album that exploded the format of punk rock, re-exploded onto 15 obscure, obsolete, and otherwise inconvenient formats, the way it was never meant to be heard.

This is incredible work, and it’s incredibly fun. Kudos to Green Day and their collaborators, very serious art studio Brain.

Royal Caribbean’s newest ship, “Utopia of the Seas”, will enter service tomorrow. Should you ever find yourself aboard it, know that for some reason, you can get away from it all by taking a virtual train ride.

That includes a unique experience called Royal Railway Utopia Station, where passengers dine on a virtual train ride while staring at simulated scenery zipping by on giant screens.

The Verge’s headline pitches this as a way to escape the cruise for a bit. Another great way to escape a cruise is to not go on a cruise.