It’s been a couple years, but here are further bad ideas in brainstorming.
Tuesday, February 25th, 2025
It’s once again time to look at the failed first versions of candies that, with some iteration, eventually found their footing in the marketing place.
Fruit by the Millimeter
Skittles + M&Ms (Combo pack)
Swedish Fermented Fish
Kinder Malo
Stickless all-day lollipop
Sure, we saw “Fermented Swedish Fish” before, but that was candy that was then fermented. By contrast, “Swedish Fermented Fish” is fermented fish somehow made into candy.
Anyhow, the logistics of that last one really tickle me.
How far is too far?
Monday, February 24th, 2025
Until earlier this month, my pal Ethan Marcotte was a government employee. He was working at 18F, a fascinating part of the US government:
We help other government agencies build, buy, and share technology products. 18F is a team of designers, software engineers, strategists, and product managers within the General Services Administration. We collaborate with other agencies to fix technical problems, build products, and improve public service through technology.
Ethan’s post detailing why he felt compelled to move on from this job is worth reading and considering.
Perhaps more than a “cursory examination” is warranted.
Friday, February 21st, 2025
Maybe the Social Security Administration is issuing payments to people it believes are 150 years old. Or maybe, just maybe, that’s a quirk of COBOL related to missing birthdate information. And maybe more than 10 million people over the age of 120 are collecting Social Security benefits. Or maybe, just maybe, that’s a database which includes information on deceased Americans. And definitely, definitely Elon Musk is either a liar, a loud idiot, or both.
There IS plenty to swear about.
Thursday, February 20th, 2025
People with a motor neuron disease gradually lose their ability to move and control muscles. In time, they may lose their voices. Thanks to new technology, however, it’s sometimes possible for them to get a voice clone.
AI is bringing back those lost voices. Both Jules and Joyce have fed an AI tool built by ElevenLabs recordings of their old voices to re-create them. Today, they can “speak” in their old voices by typing sentences into devices, selecting letters by hand or eye gaze. It’s been a remarkable and extremely emotional experience for them—both thought they’d lost their voices for good.
That’s a pretty fantastic use of technology. It’s not without issues though, as Joyce Esser found, when she was temporarily banned for something she said.
Maybe it was a really nice espresso machine.
Wednesday, February 19th, 2025
Back in December, a post in the Ohio State football subreddit came to my attention. In it, the poster helpfully alerted fellow Buckeye fans about their discovery of some brand-new Ohio State football swag in a dumpster:
Those who have not checked your dollar general dumpsters yet you should do so immediately! While doing my weekly dumpster run I found tons of OSU gear!
The responses to this non sequitur came in fast and funny. My favorite was one commenter, speaking for nearly all participants, who asked “What if I have never checked any dumpsters? Ever?”. Many suspected the post was a troll, but no, it was all in earnest. Pictures were even included.
I applaud the reuse of things, and I certainly won’t poke fun at folks turning unnecessarily trashed items into treasure. But I am greatly amused at the original poster’s mindset that of course everyone is out there dumpster diving, it’s just a matter of when. Said poster is active in the dumpster diving subreddit, and I fear it’s warped their perception of normalcy.
Then again, perhaps dumpster diving is more common than I think. I was reminded of the above post just a few weeks later, when I saw a news article with the title “How two dumpster divers found love and a living combing through trash”. It details the positive effects dumpster diving has had on the life of Western New York resident Dave Sheffield. The activity is central to how he makes his living, and it’s also how he and his wife Erin met. Good for them!
But boy did author Chris Bentley let Sheffield throw himself under the bus:
Big scores are rare, but Dave is fond of an espresso machine he plucked from the trash. As for Erin’s favorite find?
“People always ask me that,” she laughs. “Obviously my husband!”
Jeez, WBUR, doesn’t Dave look like a real asshole now?
Big yikes.
Tuesday, February 18th, 2025
When you live in a rental property, it’s likely there’s a defined expiration date for the arrangement. A standard one year lease means that at worst, you need to gut things out for 12 months before moving on.
On the other hand, when you buy a home, that’s forever. I mean, not actually forever, eventually you’ll die or the rising oceans will swallow your house or you’ll sell the property and move elsewhere. Nevertheless, purchasing a property is certainly a hell of a lot more serious than renting.
That’s why I’m so horrified by Zillow’s “Homeowner Mates” ad.1 In it, the narrator Sasha explains that she wanted a house, but couldn’t afford it on her own (she had $131,000 in “BuyAbility”, according to Zillow). Her friends Carol ($124,000) and Audrey ($117,000) shared both her interest in owning a home and her relatively anemic buying power. So, she asks, “Why not go all in together?”.
That is not a confident face.
Oh, for so very many reasons. From potential issues with budgeting to the headache of splitting expenses to difficult relationship dynamics, the idea of purchasing a home with one (or more!) unrelated people seems like a ticking time bomb. When things go wrong, it’s really going to be quite the clusterwhoops for everyone involved.
The ad itself even hints at problems ahead. Sasha starts the ad by dropping something as she unpacks, after being startled by a doorbell.2 She then refuses to answer her housemates’ repeated questions about what she smashed, despite them asking not once, not twice, but thrice. These folks have only just moved in. They’re still reviewing paint samples, but trouble is already brewing. I foresee a very messy breakup for Sasha, Carol, and Audrey.
Aside from the terrible idea that is its central premise, this ad is notable for what it says about the state of housing in America in 2025. Namely, that we do not have nearly enough stock, to the point where this terrible idea is something people might actually consider. But rather than attempting to convince people to buy a partial share of a home, perhaps efforts could be focused on the shortage of housing. New construction is pretty much the solution to the housing gap in much of America, not normalizing the disaster waiting to happen which would be purchasing a home with other people to whom you’re not legally connected.
Footnotes:
The ad is archived here. ↩︎
This despite the fact that the trio had apparently ordered pizza to be delivered. Sasha’s nervous constitution is also worrisome. ↩︎
Colin Jost wins.
Monday, February 17th, 2025
I once tweeted that the “Reply All” button found in email clients ought to require a permit, and I stand by that idea.1 An email sent by “New Yorker” editor Susan Morrison provides the latest supporting evidence.
Footnotes:
X Formerly Twitter is no longer at all a reliable repository of information. It’s also a place many no longer wish to visit. Here’s a screenshot of the tweet from the carefree days of 2009:
It’s unfortunate that past writing which I still find relevant lives there. ↩︎
We’ll never know what it was, and that makes it even better.
Friday, February 14th, 2025
On a crisp fall day in 2018, I visited Bennington, Vermont. In pursuit of fresh cider doughnuts, I stopped off at a farm store. At the entrance, I came face to face with this sign, which I still think about regularly:
I love it so much. It’s just so very intriguing! Let us review what it tells us: There was an unspecified “incident”. The incident was severe enough to delay the store’s opening. However, as the store normally opened at 8:30 AM, the incident was only so severe as to push back opening by one half-hour. Indeed, the incident was not so severe that a note couldn’t be put up.
The cherry on top is that I took that picture at 11:48 AM, and the store was indeed open. For nearly three hours, no one had remembered to take down this eight word gem, and I’m very glad they forgot. Nearly seven years later, I still haven’t.
Sorry, ugly people with good ideas.
Thursday, February 13th, 2025
How do you get funding for a new hardware company working to build smart bicycle handlebars?
In 2025, the answer is apparently “OnlyFans”. Engineer Sabrina Fischer is a founder of Flite, which has been funded with the proceeds from sharing “cycling-related adult content” of Fischer, as well as her co-founder and romantic partner Matthias Huber. It’s certainly an unconventional way to bootstrap a business.
The Flitedeck handlebars first came to my attention thanks to an article in Wired, which mainly focused on the technology. Though the hardware will cost quite a bit more than my entire commuter bike, I am intrigued by the idea of something like CarPlay for a bike. Maybe someday.
Using OnlyFans as a funding source for a hardware startup is the real hook here, though. That novel idea is perhaps not great for society, but it has allowed Fischer and Huber to retain 100% of their equity, while also garnering more press for their invention. Thus far, the pair has no regrets.
Previously in unexpected members-only areas: Police Noted
Climate change is here.
Wednesday, February 12th, 2025
Sea levels are rising. Land is eroding. Climate change is not a hoax. It’s as real as this multi-million dollar home that’s about to fall into the ocean, and we badly need to act.
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