Monday, February 15th, 2010
The articles are a bit hard to follow (you can start here for the full story, or just read the title link), but in short, the US Patent and Trade Office has fax software that can’t read an image if it’s upside down.
Note that this is not an issue of the sender flipping the page over and accidentally sending a blank sheet. If the top is not at the top, the software barfs.
Acceptable:
Unacceptable:
And it’s been this way for 22 years.
Monday, February 15th, 2010
Dan Wineman perfectly captures the beginning of the conversation every time I try to go to a restaurant’s website:
Me: (tries to visit a local restaurant’s website via iPhone)
Restaurant website: I require Flash. Fuck off.
Me: I just want to know how late you’re open.
Website: Nope.
Me: But I’m on my phone. Don’t you have a little “HTML Version” link up in the corner or something?
Website: I’m ignoring you.
Click the link to read the whole conversation for much more amusement.
Monday, February 15th, 2010
This link made the rounds briefly last week, and I didn’t have time to post it while at Macworld. However, it’s just too good to miss, even if it might be a hoax.
Sales of CJ Corporation’s snack sausages are on the increase in South Korea because of the cold weather; they are useful as a meat stylus for those who don’t want to take off their gloves to use their iPhones
Yes, a “meat stylus”.
Friday, February 12th, 2010
Welcome, friends! It’s time for another edition of “Real or Fake?”, the game where we try to separate what’s real from what’s parody, and shudder at the realization of just how far gone reality actually is.
To play, just read a headline or story summary below, then decide if you think it’s a real story from a proper news site or a fake, from somewhere like The Onion. Once you’ve made your pick, find out the truth by highlighting the hidden answer text with your mouse. Let’s answer the question:
Now tally up your score, giving yourself 1 point for each right answer, and subtracting 5 points for each wrong answer. Did you get a positive score? Cheater.
Submit Your Own
Find your own ridiculous “Should be fake, but it’s real” headline or story and send it my way.
Thursday, February 11th, 2010
Recently, New York City-based drug store Duane Reade started selling their own brand of bottled water. The name they chose could use a bit of work. They’re calling it “New York Spring Water”.
New York City and New York State are not known as the most sanitary places in the world, and the Hudson River has had plenty of problems with pollution. And yet here it is, New York Spring Water (pictures courtesy of friend-of-the-site Ally F.):
Most bottled water is fairly stupid, of course, but it’s the marketing here which makes New York Spring Water truly ridiculous. In addition to the name, dig that catchy, incredibly defensive slogan:
It’s clean. It’s natural. We promise.
Such a slogan attempts to acknowledge the negative associations and overcome them with earnestness. Sadly, earnestness and New York City go together about as well as, well, cleanliness and New York City. Nevertheless, I suppose the slogan is better than what might have been expected out of New York. After all, they could have gone with “Wadya, scared?!” or even “Just shaddup and drink it already!”.
Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
Following Monday’s link to Jeremiah Sadler’s crime spree, here is an estimated map and timeline for the events of February 1st, 2010:
[See the full map on Google Maps]
February 1st, 12:38 AM:
Steals a Ford Escort from Scampini Square in Barre, Vermont (A).
February 1st, 12:58 AM:
Ditches the Ford Escort and steals David Barber’s 2002 Subaru Impreza from Shady Tree Road in Warren, Vermont (B) (hidden behind (C)).
February 1st, shortly after 1:00 AM:
Breaks into Francis Faillace’s Subaru (C), then returns to the stolen Impreza. While being chased by Fallais, accelerates to 130 MPH on East Warren Road (D).
Shortly after, refuses to stop for a cop with lights and siren on Sugarbush Access Road in Warren (E). Loses control of the car and drives into a field, then takes off running, with a policeman following in pursuit.
During this foot pursuit, continues to enter unlocked cars and steal loose change.
February 1st, approximately 1:15 AM:
Runs to Upper Pines Road in Warren (F), 3/4 of a mile from where Barber’s stolen Subaru was left in the field. Steals a 1995 white Subaru Impreza belonging to 22-year-old Stacey Powers.
Continues stealing loose change from three other vehicles.
February 1st, approximately 1:30 AM:
Again came upon Faillace, on Moretown Mountain Road (G), crashes at the intersection of that road and Devil’s Washbowl and took off on foot again.
While running along Moretown Mountain Road, steals change and prescription medication from an unlocked vehicle.
February 1st, approximately 2:00 AM:
Finds an unlocked Kia Sephia with the keys in it. Drives same to Barre, crashing into a signpost on the way.
February 1st, approximately 2:15 AM:
Parks the stolen Sephia on Summer Street in Barre (H), walks to a friend’s apartment to “get some sleep after such a long night”.
February 1st, approximately 7:00 AM:
Finally caught by a police dog tracking his scent, Sadler confesses to taking the Kia and admits to other thefts.
Incredible.
Tuesday, February 9th, 2010
Randall Munroe writes and draws one of the best web comics out there, XKCD. If you’re not reading XKCD, you’re missing out.
Randall also has the occasional blog post. In the linked post, he provides a partial list of bugs in Android (or associated software) which have impacted his actual life in some way. You should check out the whole list, but here are a couple of my favorites.
Sometimes, when arranging home screen icons, you feel sad and you’re not sure why.
Google Voice doesn’t do push notifications, so you often get voicemails quite some time after the caller leaves them, sometimes after you’ve already called them back. This can make you call your doctor back again and have a really confusing conversation where you accidentally get a second prescription. Which you can then get filled and sell on the street. Come to think of it, this bug might be a feature.
Monday, February 8th, 2010
Jeremiah Sadler of Vermont has been on a crime spree in 2010. Since the year began he’s committed myriad crimes, including stealing six different cars, four of them in one wild night. Sadler’s been caught every single time, and he has now confessed to most of these crimes. He did so in almost Sutton-esqe1 fashion:
Subaru’s were particularly reliable targets, [Sadler] told Ambroz.
“He said: ‘I go for Subaru’s because Subaru owners leave their cars unlocked with the keys in it all the time,'” said Ambroz.
My favorite part of the story, however, is the description of part of Sadler’s spree on February 1st, after he crashed a Subaru Impreza in a field.
Sadler told police he lost control of the car and drove into a field where he finally had to stop, records state, so he jumped out and took off running as the police officer chased him with a flashlight.
As Sadler fled on foot, he continued to enter unlocked cars and steal loose change, the affidavit states.
Picture it! He’s wrecked a car, after leading a cop on a high speed chase. Now, Sadler’s fleeing on foot with a police officer in hot pursuit. And what is he doing? He’s breaking into cars to steal pennies from the ashtrays!
Then, later on:
Sadler took off in this car and continued stealing loose change from three other vehicles, according to police.
The man got another car, and instead of just getting away as fast as possible, he stopped to steal change from three more cars! That is truly some obsessively-compulsive numismatic lunacy.
Footnotes:
When a journalist asked bank robber Willie Sutton why he robbed banks, he was (likely erroneously) reported to have replied “Because that’s where the money is”. ↩︎
Monday, February 8th, 2010
A high level Pakistani diplomat has been rejected as Ambassador of Saudi Arabia because his name, Akbar Zib, equates to “Biggest Dick” in Arabic.
Sunday, February 7th, 2010
There are all types of humor in the world, from practical jokes to irony to parody. At this moment, however, my favorite is “reality”. Because this weekend at the Tea Party convention1, Sarah Palin used crib notes written on her hand. Yes, really.
It’s hard to believe this is real, isn’t it? But the video is right here, and you can see it for yourself 25 seconds in.
The topper? Earlier during her speech, she criticized President Obama’s use of a teleprompter.
Footnotes:
Incidentally, at this moment, Google News finds 2285 stories for the phrase “tea party convention”. That’s nearly 3.81 stories for each attendee (600) of the damned thing. Liberal media, my ass. ↩︎
Read a random selection from OFT’s very best posts:
Visit the full “Best Of” archive.
You can support OFT by contributing at “Buy Me A Coffee”.
Full disclosure: I don’t drink coffee. I do pay server bills, though.
