Previous “COVID-19” posts

Krispy Kowards

Wednesday, March 24th, 2021

On Monday, I saw a headline noting that Krispy Kreme was offering free doughnuts to anyone who showed a COVID-19 vaccination card. While I’m incredibly eager to be vaccinated, I’m not yet eligible. Thus, I found this promotion slightly exasperating, as it was taunting me about two different things I can’t yet have.

This was, admittedly, stupid. While I do think it’s reasonable to want to be vaccinated immediately, a free doughnuts is just a free doughnut, and I can shell out to buy one of those if I want. Also, the nearest Krispy Kreme is hundreds of miles away after their big time flop here in the birthplace of Dunkin’ Donuts. So fine, whatever. I moved on.

Then I saw this from Krispy Kreme’s promotion FAQ:

We understand that choosing to receive the COVID-19 vaccine is a highly personal decision. We advise all employees and guests to consult with their healthcare provider regarding whether to obtain a COVID-19 vaccination and which vaccine to receive after reviewing the available information. If you have made the personal decision to not receive the COVID vaccine, please visit us on Mondays, 3/29/21 – 5/24/21, to receive a free Original Glazed® doughnut and a medium brewed coffee to get your week off to a good start.

Yes, it seems Krispy Kreme wanted to appease anti-science forces as well, elevating misguided and baseless thinking to the level of “a personal decision”. Predictably, this carve-out didn’t work. Because no depth of stupidity is too low for someone to sink to, anti-vaxxers still lashed out at the doughnut maker.

The science on the COVID-19 vaccines is very clear, and it should not be controversial to encourage people to get vaccinated. That’s beneficial for society. Playing both sides, on the other hand, is cowardly and harmful to society. Next time, just stay on the sidelines, Krispy Kreme.

For the rest of us? Stay home. Wash your hands. Wear a mask. Get vaccinated.

I’d Read the Entire List of New Words 

Thursday, February 25th, 2021

At the moment, I am experience Impfneid, envy of those who’ve received the COVID vaccine. What new German word best describes your pandemic experience?

Our Immune Systems Are Adorable 

Wednesday, February 24th, 2021

Last fall, Reuters published a great look at viruses and vaccines. I hadn’t seen it until just recently, but it’s a great primer, and still worth a look.

COVID-19 Virus, magnified 1000000x

Both the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines which are now in widespread use in America are mRNA vaccines.

Yardi Gras 

Tuesday, February 16th, 2021

Today is Mardi Gras, a day that would ordinarily include a huge parade in New Orleans, replete with elaborate costumes and traveling floats. In the midst of a still-raging pandemic, such an event would be ill-advised. However, the people of New Orleans have come up with a solid substitute: House floats.

When the parades and festivities that mark Carnival were canceled due to COVID-19 last fall, New Orleanians found another way to celebrate.

Within weeks, hundreds had signed up to decorate their homes as elaborate house floats to replace traditional parade floats.

Now, with just two weeks until Mardi Gras day, it’s hard not to walk through the city and find something to smile about, despite the ongoing pandemic and the toll it has exacted.

The Atlantic has a great collection of pictures, showing just how far folks are going.

He Was There Live. He Was Not a Cat.

Wednesday, February 10th, 2021

Like so much of the world, the criminal justice system has gone virtual during the pandemic, with cases being conducted via Zoom. In a recent court case in the 394th district of Texas, attorney Rod Ponton showed up with a kitten filter turned on. It was tremendous, and thankfully, the judge uploaded the video to share with the world. Here’s a screen capture:

The full video is well, well worth a watch or 20.1

The video is just over 40 seconds long, and yet there’s so much to enjoy, including:

  • The judge’s initial courtesy in attempting to alert Mr. Ponton to the issue.

  • The way the cat’s eyes shift downward when the filter is first mentioned, conveying shame.

  • H. Gibbs Bauer in the lower-left, leaning forward and putting on his glasses to examine just what the judge (heard only in voiceover) is describing. It seems he hadn’t noticed until then.

  • Rod Ponton’s first vocalization, a sort of “Augh” that beautifully captures his feelings as he and his assistant are no doubt scrambling to correct the problem.

  • The lower-casing of “ron ponton”, which doesn’t seem correct for a lawyer, but would be just right for a cat lawyer.

  • The cat’s nodding, as it agrees that this is indeed a filter.

  • Mr. Ponton’s willingness to “go forward with it”, seemingly meaning he would be content to conduct the proceedings as a cat.

  • Mr. Ponton’s statement that “I’m here, live. I’m not a cat”.

I think my very favorite part, however, is Jerry L. Phillips in the upper right trying and failing to keep his composure at the very end. Perhaps Zoom can provide a “Serious Jerry” filter he could use in the future.


Footnotes:

  1. I can’t fathom this video ever disappearing from the Internet, but just in case, it’s archived here. ↩︎

This Might As Well Happen 

Tuesday, February 9th, 2021

Sure, why not test for COVID-19 by using anal swabs? Pile it on, world.

Zoom Goats 

Friday, February 5th, 2021

My software company can help you add music or sound effects to your voice calls, and that’s proven to be very popular in the past 11 months. However, to really want to liven up your next Zoom meeting, why not get a goat?

A farmer who was half kidding when she suggested hiring out her goats out for Zoom meetings during lockdown has said making £50,000 shows it was no joke.

The future is so goddamned weird.

Previously in COVID-19 Goats: Free Goat Entertainment

A Cat Birthday Party 

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021

For many months now, friend-of-the-site Amy Jane Gruber and I have had a little game going, wherein we try to come up with the dumbest ways someone could get infected with COVID-19. If you’re a healthcare worker who gets infected by a patient, that’s not embarrassing at all. If you’re having an extramarital affair and your mister or mistress gets you sick, well, that’s embarrassing.

Today, we have a new leader. Coming down with the virus from a cat’s birthday party is now the stupidest known way to get COVID. It’s so stupid it’s difficult to believe it’s even real. And yet:

“When I heard about this, I said … it’s a joke. Probably they said that to conceal something else—but it was exactly that,” Álvarez told local station Radio Bio-Bio, as translated by Google Translate. “We have corroborated it with at least six of the 15 [infected] people who told us the same thing.”

I like the idea that he thought they were covering up something else, with this story. What could be worse than this?

Covidiots Temporarily Delay Vaccinations 

Monday, February 1st, 2021

It’s bad enough that there are so many thoughtless people in the world who refuse to take basic precautions to keep themselves and their fellow humans safe, such as socially distancing and wearing masks. But the existence of people actively interfering with those who are trying to protect themselves is almost too much to bear.

Rod and Ekaterina Baker Are Selfish Morons 

Wednesday, January 27th, 2021

A Canadian casino executive and his wife chartered a private plane to a remote area of the Yukon territory, then posed as local motel workers to improperly obtain access to doses of the COVID-19 vaccine that had been brought in for an elderly and high-risk population. How were they caught?

Mr. Streicker said the two people asked if someone could take them to the airport after they were vaccinated, which “raised flags” with the vaccination team. They called the enforcement unit for the Civil Emergency Measures Act.

So in addition to being selfish, they’re also idiots. Don’t be like the Bakers.